Christmas Time - Mistletoe and Wine ... lots of bloody wine, and gin!!!

Every year. Every bloody year, I have to put up with Neens and her obsession with all things Christmas. “Isn’t it the best time?” “Are you excited yet?” “Doesn’t everything look pretty with the decorations up?” “Have you put your tree up yet?” I don’t even listen anymore. It bores me senseless.

Until this year when Christmas and I got on the same page. When it became a bit of a non-starter. “OH, isn’t it wonderful?” I wanted to scream from the rooftops.

Every year at least 10 people ask me ‘do you really not like Christmas?” And every time I give the same answer. Okay, same two answers depending on who is asking.

You might get version 1: “I like it just fine, but those people who want to start putting up decorations in November and show the world or at least their friends, how big their tree is, how many decs they can get on it, how ‘so Christmas’ they really are, ruin it for me.” And it’s true. At least when I ‘celebrate’ Christmas, it’s actually about Christmas and not showing off what I can do with 15 baubles and box of lights.

Or version 2: “I liked it just fine until I had kids then I realised it was all about them and no longer about me”. Most people think that I’m joking. I am. Kind of.

It doesn’t help that I only have my children every other Christmas Eve/Day as they alternate at their Dad’s. To be honest, I would happily let him have them every Christmas Day if I could have them every Christmas Eve and wake up with them on Christmas morning! See? Just another reason it gives me the hump.

Thanks to COVID - not words you have heard many times this year - my boys are actually here in the UK for Christmas, even though it’s their Dad’s year to have them. Normally they would be in Texas (lucky buggers….sunshine and swimming pools) but can’t be this year for obvious reasons. It normally means that on their Dad’s year, they are gone for nearly two weeks - whereas this year, it’s Chrimbo Eve and Day with Dad then back to me for Boxing Day. I’m actually very happy this Christmas (because I get to see my boys) but nobody has told my face.

I do try to make a bit of an effort at Christmas with the decs ... but only bother on the years that I have my boys. I’m so shit and I don’t care. When I put the tree up this year, I ‘artistically’ put on the baubles and some lights and asked one of my boys “Does it look okay?” To which he replied “it looks lovely Mum”. Neens took one look, scoffed, and said “I think your tree needs more. It looks boring”. I took no notice. She’d dress like a glitter ball if she could so if she thinks I’m taking advice from her, then she can sod off.

I don’t even bother comparing my efforts with Janey. Mary Poppins has just the right and perfect decorations in just the right and perfect house. All I can think when I look at my effort is ‘a few more days and I can put it all back in the box for another year. Yay’.

I’m not a complete misery. Come Christmas morning, me and the boyfriend will open our pressies, start the dinner preps and hopefully, crack open something that will make me not give a damn if the turkey comes out dry. Before I get too sloshed, I’ll FaceTime my Olds (who are on their own for the first time in at least 53 years and in those years have never been without either me or my sister or normally both of us and now our families too so they’re really going to be feeling a bit sad). Then I’ll FaceTime my girls. Later I’ll FaceTime my boys and then perhaps I can have a little snooze. Thank you FaceTime, I love you.

I get that this year isn’t what it normally is for almost every person who celebrates it. But what can we do? Unpopular as this opinion is, I’m not angry at the PM. We are living in unprecedented times and no matter who is PM or which Political party we had in power, it would still have been a mess. We are generally responsible for ourselves and our families. Fancy being responsible for 78 million people and trying to please them all? Yeah. Sod that. I’d rather put my decorations up in November!

From us to you, we wish you a wonderful Christmas, no matter what it looks like. 💜🤘🏼👌🏼💪🏼🎅🏼⭐️🎄 We send you love, and wish you all happiness and good health.